THE GLUE THAT BINDS US

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Giorgio Tsoukalos: Hello, my name is Giorgio Tsoukalos. I know that many of you probably think I’m a crackpot lunatic constantly spouting off stuff about alien runways in Peru and, to be honest, I don’t blame you. However, what you may not know is that I was actually born in Switzerland. I’m here to tell all of you that I love America. Only America gives me television time. Only America allows me to publish a magazine on the ancient astronaut theory. I could go on and on, but I’m here today to speak to all of you as a fellow American. A fellow patriot. A fellow lover of freedom and liberty. If you love America, please listen to my message. If we don’t take action now, America may not be there for our children.

Narrator: America as a nation is divided. There is the Occupy movement, the wars, and, despite being almost a year away, the political debates. However, there are certain aspects of America’s history and culture that always bring us together. July 4th sees Americans across the country celebrate freedom by gorging on grilled meats and pounding cheap domestic beer with their loved ones. Another unifying force is football. Baseball may be America’s pastime, but no sport matches American’s love of the gridiron. Today, we’ll examine how this very American sport is secretly being used to spread a very un-American idea: communism.

America is a nation of immigrants. While the foreigners that swelled America’s port cities came looking for opportunity, many Americans feared these new neighbors and, more importantly, their ideas. Of these ideas, none has had more of an effect on America than communism. The 20th Century saw Senator Joseph McCarthy and HUAC engulf the nation in the Red Scare. While McCarthy blacklisted anyone from Hollywood stars to members of the Armed Forces, many would be surprised to learn that in one area of the country communist beliefs did in fact take hold and they remain the dominant ideology still today. This area is Boise, Idaho.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Communist sympathies existed in Boise and the southern Idaho in general, long before the Red Scare and the Cold War. It is widely known that Marxism, socialism, and anarchism spread across Europe in the early 20th century, but it is important to remember that they did breach America’s shores as well. Fortunately, these ideas were squashed wherever they appeared. For instance, Boston, arguably the most American city of all, executed the Italian anarchists Sacco and Vanzetti. However, the ideas of communism did take hold thousands of miles away in southern Idaho.

Narrator: It was southern Idaho where communism gained traction in America. The most backwards and least industrialized region of the country, the majority of the population was illiterate and subsisted solely off potatoes and turpentine. Like Russia, the area was ideal for communist ideas to take root.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Southern Idaho at this point in history makes modern Appalachia look like Vegas. Everything was backwards. The people believed heavily in superstition and this is why Boise State University, which was originally founded by Episcopalians in 1932, became independent only two years later.

Narrator: The University soon came to embody the communist beliefs of the area. Through the majority of the 20th century, Boise State kept its ideology to itself out of fear. The Cold War ensured that their communist sympathies, if discovered, would lead to severe repercussions. Boise waited until the Berlin Wall came crashing down and the Cold War ended. With the fall of the Soviet Union, Boise began to spread its communist ideas throughout the country. It chose college football as its propaganda machine. It was the obvious choice. Americans have, and always will, love football.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: At first Boise St. was not very successful at winning people over. The problem was their rival. The University of Idaho was founded about forty years before Boise State and was the only source of education in Idaho even after Boise State was founded. Unfortunately, the serf heritage of those around Boise prevented them from ever gaining admittance to the school. They simply lacked the necessary civility.

Narrator: Compounding all of this was the University’s location in Moscow, Idaho. They viewed the University of Idaho as bourgeois, and therefore, like their Bolshevik counterparts in 1917, they needed to usurp control of the entire state. Once they achieved this goal, largely following the blueprint of Lenin, they would aid other communist revolutions and usher in a worldwide dictatorship of the proletariat.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: This is the point in time where Boise State begins to grow in power. In 1994, the University of Idaho had won the annual rivalry game twelve straight times. Just as the Russian aristocracy had long suppressed the serfs, so did the University of Idaho to Boise. Boise chose Pokey Allen as their leader and he mobilized support for the football team by riding a horse through downtown Boise. It was a symbolic move to prove that he was a man of the people and a commoner. The horse represented Boise’s proletarian roots. It symbolized that he understood their beliefs. It made clear that he stood with them against the industrialized bourgeoisie that controlled Moscow. Most importantly, it showed that Moscow was just the beginning.

Narrator: Unfortunately, the leadership of Pokey Allen would be short lived. Shortly after the 1994 season he was diagnosed with cancer. This obviously presented a problem. The people of Boise were still too developmentally challenged to lead the revolution by themselves. Russia had relied upon Lenin, who had received his education abroad before returning to lead the Bolsheviks, and so Boise would do the same. The people of Boise looked outward, however, their communist ideology and backwater location made attracting a capable leader difficult, if not impossible. Instead, they handed power over to an insane man who had no idea that Boise was full of communists.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Boise State hands power over to Houston Nutt. This is where the comparison between Boise State and the Soviet Union falls apart. Regarding Russian history, Rasputin played a part in the downfall of the aristocracy, while, in the case of Boise State, Houston Nutt played a role in the rise of Boise State. Nutt was the fiery reverend that got the ball rolling, but his psychiatric state got progressively worse on account of his potato heavy diet.

Narrator: Power would pass on to a native Idahoan named Dirk Koetter. Koetter began a string of twelve straight victories over rival Idaho. A streak that continues to this day.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Unfortunately, Koetter became disenchanted with the communist ideology of Boise……very similar to Leon Trotsky. However, Trotsky would go to Mexico City and eventually be killed by an ice pick to the head. One could argue that Stalin showed him mercy by killing him this way. Boise showed Koetter no mercy. In 2001, Boise State fans still naturally foamed at the mouth, yet they were organized enough to make Koetter’s life hell. Instead of Mexico City, he exiled himself to Arizona State where he suffered six horrific seasons. Their primal bloodlust not satisfied, Boise’s underground network of spies arranged for him to be trapped as a coordinator for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I think it’s clear who got the better deal.

Narrator: Boise’s lack of mercy extended to their newly subdued rivals as well.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Rumors began to arise that Neo-Nazis and other dissident type groups populated Northern Idaho. Of course, this were all lies. Boise State had two goals in mind. First, they wanted to disparage northern Idaho, specifically Moscow, in the eyes of the rest of the country. The second was to draw off any attention that Boise’s own communist activity might garner. By making it appear that all the problems were in the north, Boise hoped that no one would bother to look in the south.

Narrator: Up until this point, Boise’s rise had been slow and steady. Having learned from their mistaken experiment with Houston Nutt, Boise State promoted from within.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: After Koetter left, Boise promoted Dan Hawkins, and so began Boise’s version of dictatorship of the politburo. Hawkins would do extremely well at Boise State. While he did leave Boise State in 2005, his situation was not similar to Koetter. Koetter exiled himself. Hawkins was sent on a mission. The inner circle at Boise State had decided that it was finally time to spread their communist ideology. Boulder was geographically close enough and Boise thought the people of Boulder would give in to communism. Colorado was supposed to be a Boise satellite nation. Now, we all know that Hawkins failed horribly. Hawkins has not been seen since. It is believed that he was sent to Boise’s version of Siberia, however no individual has ever survived their time there.

Narrator: Just as Boise State had done when replacing Koetter, they once again looked internally for their next head coach. Chris Peterson would claim the mantle of power and, like his predecessor, raise Boise State’s football team to new heights.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Chris Peterson is a genius. Boise’s plans for a communist takeover of America becomes more and more a reality every second he remains at the helm. He is their Stalin. He has masterfully disguised Boise’s true intentions while also fooling the American public. Peterson’s name frequently comes up in the discussion of traditionally more lucrative or attractive coaching jobs, and yet he consistently turns them down. He frequently states that he has no intentions of leaving Boise State. Why would he? The Hawkins experiment already exposed that Boise will have to advance it’s ideology with force and force alone, and leaving for any other reason would get a similar punishment to what Koetter is experiencing. The really funny part is, when people say Chris Peterson is just a "Boise guy," they’re one hundred percent correct. They just don’t realize that being a "Boise guy" really means being a ruthless communist dictator.

Narrator: Peterson would waste no time in advancing the communist agenda. In his first year at the helm, he guided Boise to a victory over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl. The game ended in a thrilling fashion and captivated millions across the country.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: The Fiesta Bowl really reveals what Boise is about. First, they were taking on a college football blueblood. They portrayed themselves as the underdogs. It was a perfect bourgeoisie versus proletariat setup. They portrayed themselves as the little guys who won on account of daring and hard work. They portrayed themselves as the American dream. Think about it, communists as the American dream.

Of course, let’s not forget who they played. Oklahoma. Native. America. Boise started going after every institution that American’s hold sacred. Two years later they lost to Texas Christian University in a bowl game. This was obviously a huge setback. Losing to a Christians is unthinkable to the atheist communists of Boise. Communists believe in allegiance to the state above all else. To Boise, the Broncos are religion.

Narrator: The Boise politburo would not let this embarrassment stand. Through a series of death threats and a vigorous propaganda campaign by their state funded media network, ESPN, Boise was able to arrange a rematch with Texas Christian in the Fiesta Bowl, the same place where they had defeated Native America. This time, Boise won.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: The ability to arrange the rematch shows Boise’s power, but they’re obviously not the only football team on the planet. The summer of 2010 saw a series of plans for conference realignment, and of course Boise State did not sit idle. Communists never sit idle.

Narrator: Boise State joined the Mountain West Conference on July 1, 2011.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: Now, some will argue this move was fueled by competition. Boise had outgrown the WAC. However, if you really look at the move, nothing is changing. The MWC is really just the WAC with Air Force. Clearly, Boise State joined the MWC not for money, publicity, or any type of competitive reason. The target is Air Force. It is the only real difference. By asserting their dominance over a branch of the U.S. military, Boise hopes to prove that its communist ideology is superior. This is the only plausible explanation for switching conferences.

As conference realignment spilled over to 2011, Boise is considering moving to the Big East. Who else is considering that move? Air Force. If Boise truly desired the "BCS conference" status is has strived so hard for, why wait for tiny Air Force to make a move? The answer is clear.

Boise may join the Big East, but they need to control the entire pacific northwest in order to ensure the movement has a strong foothold.

There are two things that can potentially prevent this. First, the University of Idaho is now under the control Robb Akey. Akey is a true American. I mean, just look at that mustache. He and his vandals pose a threat to Boise’s communist hegemony from within. We all must pray that they can succeed.

Even if Akey fails, America’s most treasured institution remains to block Boise’s path. Any team looking to dominate the Pacific Northwest is going to have to take down Oregon. Boise State and Oregon hate one another on account of their differing ideologies. Phil Knight and Oregon represent the great American tradition of capitalism, which is naturally Boise’s worst enemy. This hatred was evident in the 2009 season opener. At the conclusion of a Boise win, Boise State linebacker Byron Hout called Oregon running back Legarrette Blount a "bourgeoisie swine."

Narrator: Blount retaliated with a punch that knocked Hout out cold.

Giorgio Tsoukalos: This incident reveals the hatred between these two schools. Oregon and Robb Akey’s Vandals are America’s only hopes. To anyone who still refuses to acknowledge the threat that Boise State represents to America, I think you need to realize that Boise has already done irreparable harm to this country.

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What many don’t know is that the USS Boise was stationed in the Pacific during Pearl Harbor. The ships crew was comprised wholly of Boise State fans on account of their low level of civility. Basically, no one else wanted to be around them. The ship was actually out on patrol when the Japanese attacked. Convenient, no? At the conclusion of the war, a government probe into the affair concluded that the Boise just did not see the Japanese coming. That is laughable. Boise State fans can’t see a fleet of ships set against the ocean? What color is the ocean? Blue. Who prides themselves on their blue turf? Boise. Clearly, Boise State is responsible for Pearl Harbor. This was not the last time that Boise allowed international incidents to occur.

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Boise has developed other traditions in addition to communist ideals and blue turf.

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Now I recognize that both of these incidents resulted from Boise’s inaction, however, Boise has shown in the past that it will take the lives of those that dare oppose it’s totalitarian regime.

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This could be any one of us. Americans need to finally recognize the evil that Boise is and remain ever vigilant. Forget terrorists, communists from within are the greatest threat to America’s future. Think of Boise like a potato. Its communist ideas grow underground until they are fully ingrained into the minds of the people. At maturity they are sent into the world they begin to sprout and spread these ideas. The sprouted potato may get thrown in the trash, but Boise State fans do not fear death. The perpetuation of communism is their one and only goal. This is why we must do everything we can to squash it.

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