It's supposed to be easy to write a smack-talk article about Texas Tech-- they're delightfully hatable, after all. They actually give a rat's whisker about what Craig James thinks. Their identity-- before they fired him (enter Craig James again, from a dark electrical closet)-- was the world's most landlocked pirate. Their magnum annum is that year they came in third in their conference. Their last trip to Fort Worth was, you know, this one:

and so on.

The problem is that Tech might actually be pretty good this season, and our native good grace and humility creates pause in an assignment like this one.

So instead of piling more insults on the ones I've already enjoyed writing, I'll just ask for the time; is it twelve to three?