The Wimples have a few maxims for college football scheduling:
- 1-A teams should not play 2-A teams.
- If 1-A teams do play 2-A teams, the states should not be tabulated or count toward season or career totals, because it ain't a fair fight.
- If 1-A teams do play 2-A teams, the 1-A team definitely should win, because it's an unfair fight.
- 2-A teams definitely should not beat 1-A teams, because it's not supposed to be a fair fight.
Therefore one of the Wimples' favorite treats is the sad-fan shots at the end of those rare games featuring a 2-A team beating a 1-A team. This weekend was particularly rich with these, and so we present a new and exciting feature in bloggery: the Dishonor Roll featuring those 1-A teams that laid eggs against 2-A teams. You, my dearest losers, are the laxatives that purge the stupidity from schedules that feature unfair fights. You are forever the Exhibits A for Why They Play The Games.
I'd raise a glass to you, but you'd probably trip and spill it all over me. So have some ridicule instead. You've earned it.
- UConn-- for not just losing to Towson, but actually betting plain-old blown out by the Tigers. Your eighty-five scholarship Huskies couldn't corral Terrence West, who ran over, through, around, and all-up-on the Huskies.
- Iowa State-- helping earn Stew Mandel's observation that the Big12 is bottom-heavy.
- Kansas State-- boy, is Collin Kleisman missed these days in Manhattan. I bet the hearty farmers of the Sunflower State miss big number seven more than the hearty yuppies of Fort Worth miss Andy Dalton. Ginger Power would have clobbered the North Dakotans; so would Collin Klein. TCU would feel your pain, but it's too busy licking the wounds Zach Mettenberger, Odell Beckham, and Jarvis Landry inflicted on the Horned Frogs. At least those bruises are copyrighted by the SEC.
- Oregon State-- You can't say Oregon State keeps bad company: the soon-to-be-unranked Beavers were just the third ranked team ever to lose to a 2-A team. Michigan, Virginia Tech: that's a quality peer-group. At least it was a close contest, although the EWU quarterback, Vernon Adams, chalked up over 500 yards of offense against OSU. Give that guy a ribbon.
- San Diego State-- props to you, Aztecs. You came from behind to tie Eastern Illinois after halftime, but let it get out of hand in the fourth quarter. And you turned it over five times. Time to get off the beach and back to practice.
- Georgia State-- losing to Samford. Maybe you get a pass, Ga-St., because I didn't even know you were 1-A. But, really-- you still have 20 more players on scholarships than the other guys; try and act your division.
- South Alabama- Southern Utah was too much for you, but maybe you get the same pass that Georgia State enjoys this year. Granted, Georgia State played (and lost) its first game as a 1-A program today; you're in your second year. So no free pass for you.
- South Florida-- the Bulls get a special place of dishonor in today's dishonor roll. In their debut for their new coach they gave up the most points ever at home to McNeese State: 53. Now that's putting on a show for your new coach!