Earth shattering news out of Houston today as Rice officials announced they have accepted to join the Big 12 in all sports except baseball.
When asked why for the love of all things good and holy Rice was invited to the Big 12, Big 12 conference commissioner Chuck Neinas responded, "These past years of conference realignment have played havoc on traditional rivalries in college sports. Next year West Virginia won't play Pitt, Kansas won't play Missouri, Texas won't play Texas A&M. These are great rivalries that may never be played again- or may never have the intensity that they once had. So we in the Big 12 came to the decision that some rivalries were too important to risk ever jeopardizing- with this move we have ensured that come hell or high water, Texas will continue to play Rice every year."
Texas Athletic Director DeLoss Dodds and football coach Mack Brown were reportedly elated by the decision to make Rice a conference member. "It's just so great to know that we'll have Rice on the schedule for years to come, that's the one game our players get really fired up for, even in 2010!" said Brown, while DeLoss Dodds added "The game was just too important to us to risk losing, and this means that our basketball team will have a chance to play their rivals in Houston every year as well!" Dodds refused comment on why the Rice Baseball team was not invited to the Big 12 as well.
A search is now on to find a twelfth football playing member for the Big 12 conference, and Chuck Neinas was asked if there were any schools he wouldn't consider for the coveted 12th member slot. "Just SMU," the commissioner replied, "Everyone else has got a shot."