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Curses

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Presswire

The loss of Waymon James makes it abundantly clear, this team is cursed. James joins Tanner Brock, DJ Yendry, Devin Johnson, Ty Horn, Ed Wesley, James Dunbar, and Ross Forrest on the casualty list, and I feel like I’m forgetting someone.

Curses are not unheard of in college football. For instance, Iowa is plagued by "Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God," or AIRBHG for short. AIRBHG’s trail of destruction stretches back over a decade, and it’s probably safe to assume that hiring Greg Davis isn’t going to change things anytime soon.

Iowa’s most hated rival, Purdue, is also cursed. Every year, for what seems like an eternity, this happens to someone on Purdue:

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Purdue’s problem seems to just be something in the water. If, like Iowa’s AIRBHG, there is a deity at work, it’s probably punishment for producing Kyle Orton, or at least his beard. However, considering Iowa and Purdue play each other every year, Purdue probably just caught something from being around Iowa.

It’s important to note that curses do not last forever. For years, UCLA’s quarterbacks seemed cursed, but redshirt freshman Brett Hundley has them sitting at 3-0 with Jim frickin Mora Jr. at head coach. I’m gonna guess that the curse was lifted when Neuheisel got fired, rather than force myself to believe that it’s the result of something Mora did. Regardless of the reason, the curse appears to have just mysteriously disappeared.

TCU can learn from these other curses. The variety of positions we've lost players at, along with the variety of ways in which we've done so, seem to rule out an angry deity like AIRBHG. Maybe our curse is the result of a single coach. Could Chad Glasgow have caught something during his year in Lubbock? He certainly wouldn’t be the first. What about individual players? Has anyone from TCU had any contact with any of the above scho—

/sighs

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GOD DAMMIT