Frogs O' War Friday Mailbag: March 29, 2013

We lost to DBU this week....or so I heard. I didn't actually watch the game on Tuesday night as I was at a high school talent show. (Let the rampant speculation as to what I was doing there begin). Frankly though, the talent show was chock full of better performances than what the Frogs put out on the field.

Question #1: How many wins will football need to collect for you to feel good about these awful baseball/basketball debut seasons?

Quite a few. I'm thinking somewhere in the 17-18 range? With two national championships? In reality, football conquers all, so if the Frogs go out and win 10 games and grab the Big 12 title, I'll be able to shit talk people in my office again. Not until then though. Until then I am silent (ish).

Question #2: How many Big 12 Championships will TCU win next year, and in what sports?

Football. Baseball. Basketball. Equestrian. Track & Field. Soccer. Swimming (Women's). Men's Tennis. Golf. And we'll also win the Big 12 title for baldest chancellor (see here).

Question #3: What is the girl in the header [of the questions thread] looking at?

(Kevin Jairaj-US PRESSWIRE)

I will remember this moment forever. She and I had just locked eyes, and although she was supposed to be flailing her arms in unison with the rest of the showgirls, she stood still. I stood still. Time stood still.

It was so electric that Mark Sanchez felt it all the way up in New York, and then this happened:

via www.businessinsider.com

Question #4: When is the TCU Baseball drinking game coming?

NOW. HERE ARE THE RULES. YOU WILL PROBABLY DIE MOST LIKELY.

Rule 1: Anytime a TCU hitter swings wildly at a pitch like they have no idea what they're doing, take a drink.

R2: Whenever the camera cuts to a frustrated Jim Schlossnagle, take a drink.

R3: If a baserunner screws up/gets thrown out, take two drinks.

R4: If an infielder boots a routine ground ball, take two drinks.

R5: If a pitcher walks a guy on four straight, take a drink.

R6: If TCU allows a run immediately after they have scored a run, take two drinks.

R7: If an outfielder horribly misjudges a ball and it drops/gets to the wall, take two drinks.

R8: If a TCU reliever blows a lead, finish your drink.

R9: If TCU leaves a runner in scoring position (and the runner was in position with less than two outs), finish your drink.

R10: If TCU loses, finish your drink, then find the whiskey and finish that too.

If everything goes right, you will be constantly drinking this whole time.

TWO BONUS RULES:

Bonus 1: If a TCU player actually makes a decent play (in the field or at the plate), GIVE ONE DRINK TO SOMEONE. (Preferably someone also on the baseball thread).

Bonus 2: If TCU scores a run, GIVE TWO DRINKS TO SOMEONE.

Question #5: How many candles should I light to ensure a TCU series win? How many for a sweep?

All of them. For a sweep, make them brighter or something. Try lighting them twice maybe.

Question #6: Will the Mavs ever shave their beards?

via img.photobucket.com

Question #7a: Will you cheer or boo Josh Hamilton when he returns to the Ballpark this season?

Neither. I was stand in silence and point at him. He'll know.

Question #7b: Should I allow my four year old son to ever wear a Hamilton jersey again? (I have actually hidden it hoping he has forgotten he has it. Once I know he has forgotten, I intend to trash it.)

No, he can never wear it again, ever. Mail it to me, I'll stash it with my C.J. Wilson, Chris Davis and Vlad Guererro shirts (yes, those are real shirts that I actually have). Or maybe just burn it with fire.

Question #8: Do I have a caffeine addiction? (4 cups of coffee plus 1 Dr. Pepper ten before 9 am)?

You're talking to a guy who chugged an entire pot at 7:30 this morning and then went directly to Starbucks. My hands are shaking. On second though, maybe it's just my keyboard.

Bonus Question: How do I get rid of this rash on my bum?

Lost of creams. And sobs. Sobs and creams.

Bye bye.

Follow me on Twitter, fools: @@thedsportsrant and @FrogsOWar.

(I know these links are all over the page, but I'm just going to be blatant and straight up point them out).