JT’s Jungle: Comedy or Comically Bad?

3-3 . . . A tie or a Big 10 score? Or Both? Anyway, it could always be worse. (see weeks 1 & 2). The theme of this week is comedy. Perhaps my picks will be comically bad. Honestly I am like the Joker in The Dark Knight; I am just rooting for chaos. This happens every year, but I just didn’t expect it to happen so early in the season. Oh well. New week, new me. Let’s make some picks.

All game lines are taken Thursday at 10:45 am CST

Game One: #19 Texas (4-1) vs. #7 Oklahoma (5-0)

The Red River Rivalry or the artist formerly known as the Red River Shootout is this weekend. A Once former spectacle has lost its allure in recent years due to Texas’ lackluster performance. But have no fear because TEXAS IS BACK, and this year it has all the promise to be a great game between two ranked teams. Oklahoma opens up a 7.5 point favorite.

MY PICK: Texas

MY REASON: TEXAS IS BACK, probably

Game Two: #5 LSU (5-0) at #22 Florida (4-1)

I am honestly not quite sure how florida is 4-1, but this is the post-apocalyptic world in which we live and we must adjust accordingly. LSU opens as a 2.5 point favorite.

MY PICK: LSU

MY REASON: LSU has been through the gauntlet this year. They have played in some big games and have won them. They are tested and have come out the other end. I believe they will be able to cover the spread. Plus, anytime a coach drops an F-Bomb in the post-game speech, I am here for it.

Game Three: #13 Kentucky (5-0) at Texas A&M (3-2)

As a person who will be in attendance of this game, I shall place a bet to ensure that I have a proprietary interest in the outcome of the game. Texas A&M is a 5.5 favorite despite the fact that Kentucky is undefeated and the 13th ranked team in the country. A&M’s two losses were to top 4 teams, and in both instances the covered the spread.

MY PICK: Aggies

MY REASON: I think Kentucky is highly overrated and I think A&M has had a tough schedule for the first half of their season. I expect A&M to win this game in convincing fashion. It’s JIMBO SZN my dudes.

Game Four: #6 Notre Dame (5-0) at #24 Virginia Tech (3-1)

Notre Dame opens up as a 6.5 point favorite against the Hokies. I don’t really have much more to say about this game, except that I can’t stand Notre Dame, and yes this statement is a preview of picks to come.

MY PICK: Hokies

MY REASON: I will first try to give a logical reason for my pick and then will let my pathos argument take over. I think Virginia Tech is still recovering from their loss to ODU. They beat an undefeated duke last week rather convincingly and I suspect they will continue that trend this week. Plus, I wanted to see the Irish go down in a hilarious manner.

BONUS BET OF THE WEEK: TAKE FLORIDA STATE (+13.5) ON THE MONEY LINE BECAUSE IT WOULD BE FUNNY

You’re welcome in advance.

Onward