TCU fans should count their blessings that the Horned Frogs were off this week, as college football got real weird. The Big 12, sad that it couldn’t join in the fun of other conferences killing their playoff hopes, decided that Week Six was the right time for its annual self-cannibalization. Now the Big 12’s best College Football Playoff chances lie in the hands of a Red Bull-chugging man in Morgantown with a fascinating head of hair and his quarterback, who has a brother that was a Vine star back when those were a thing.
Football — it’s dumb! Let’s take a look around the Big 12, starting with, yeah, you guessed it.
Texas 48, Oklahoma 45: I don’t know what strange genie curse prevents the Sooners from making a change at defensive coordinator, but they need to find an old priest and a young priest and get rid of it. Oklahoma let Sam Ehlinger run for three touchdowns and couldn’t stop the Longhorns for the first three quarters; Texas scored on its first five possessions. Kyler Murray had one of the more inexplicable fumbles you’ll ever see, literally putting the ball on the ground and losing control. Gus Johnson discovered that he could say the words “Dicker the Kicker,” and proceeded to use that phrase at every possible opportunity.
Texas is good. I’m sorry for all the jokes (note: I am not sorry).
West Virginia 38, Kansas 22: West Virginia let Kansas hang around longer than was necessary. Will Grier decided to throw three red zone interceptions, a strategy that the Mountaineers will most likely have to ditch moving forward. Pay no attention to this game — Kansas always does something weird like this against a good team, and the Mountaineers just drew the short straw this season.
Iowa State 48, Oklahoma State 42: You should, however, pay attention to this game. It’s not so much that Oklahoma State lost to Iowa State — it’s that Oklahoma State gave up forty-eight American points to Iowa State, and the Cyclones had their third string quarterback at the helm. Brock Purdy straight up outplayed Taylor Cornelius, and that’s a worrisome sign for any Cowboys fan.
Also, if Matt Campbell leads Iowa State to a bowl, North Carolina should immediately can Larry Fedora and hire him. (That’s an aside meant more for me and my own happiness than anything else.)
Baylor 37, Kansas State 34: Giving up 34 to this inept Kansas State offense is not good, but Baylor needs wins, and by god, the Bears got one this weekend. Connor Martin missed three field goals Saturday but came through when it counted, making a 29-yarder with six seconds left to win the game for Baylor. The Bears have four wins already this season, and I have no idea if they’re any good or not. I’m leaning towards: not.