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Trust Me, I’m a Football Coach

A survey of the most trustworthy coaches in Texas had some illuminating results.

TCU Football vs Iowa State | September 29, 2018 | Amon G. Carter Stadium
The face of the most trustworthy coach in Texas.
Melissa Triebwasser

Dave Campbell’s Texas Football Magazine hit the shelves this month.

Those of you with the misfortune to not reside in Texas may not know the significance of this. The magazine contains previews for every single Texas high school football team — over 1,400 — and an excellent college preview section as well. This is not a paid advertisement (though I wish it was. Cut the check, Dave!), but I implore you to pick up a copy if you get the chance. It’s the bible for Texas football nuts.

Anyway, in this year’s edition, high school coaches in Texas were surveyed on a litany of questions. Some of the most interesting results in came in questions about trust levels of Texas college coaches.

Coaches were asked “Which of the 12 FBS coaches in Texas would you say you trust the most?” and “Which of the 12 FBS coaches in Texas would you say you trust the least?” Those are two questions designed to gin up some discussion — so let’s discuss them, because, hoo boy, some of these results are really funny.

TCU’s own Gary Patterson topped the list of the most trustworthy coaches, with 25.2 percent saying they trusted GP the most. That narrowly edged out Baylor’s Matt Rhule, who came in at 21.5 percent.

That sounds about right. Patterson has made a living on giving scholarships and playing time to under-recruited kids from one-stoplight towns across the state. And Rhule is by all accounts a really swell dude.

Sonny Dykes at SMU is next on the list at 13 percent. I’m guessing that’s mostly due to his dad, Spike, who cut a legendary figure as the coach of Texas Tech. It’s good for the Ponies that Sonny Dykes is trusted so much.

Tom Herman checks in at 11.4 percent, which I find hilarious. He’s coached at Houston and the state’s flagship program, and he can’t beat out the guy at SMU in gaining high school coaches’ trust. Maybe he should buy a grill that says “Trust Me, I’m a Good Dude” on it?

The real humor is that Jimbo Fisher is below Seth Littrell on this list. Only 6.5 percent of coaches say they trust Jimbo the most. I’m not a recruiting expert, but I don’t think that’s good! Maybe it’s because he talks too fast, or maybe it’s because he makes too much money, or maybe he’s a Skoal guy and most Texas coaches chew Copenhagen. Who knows!

But Aggie fans should rest easy, because Jimbo did top one list in the DCTF survey. Yes, 32.8 percent of high school coaches say they trust Jimbo the least of any FBS coach in the Lone Star State. He’s a relative newcomer to Texas, so that may play some role, but I’m going to have to award Jimbo my Big Yikes of the Week Award for this one.

Also, the Texas-Texas A&M rivalry is back! Because Tom Herman checks in as the No. 2 most untrustworthy coach in Texas in this survey, with 23.3 percent of coaches trusting him the least. Maybe they’re just waiting for him to actually win a Big 12 title?

Some other highlights:

-3.1 percent of coaches say they trust Patterson the least, which ties him with Dana Dimel of UTEP and Matt Wells of Texas Tech. Wells is a first-year coach, so I’m guessing most coaches just don’t have an opinion of him yet. They’ll need to see if he prefers George Strait or Garth Brooks before they make their decision.

-Seth Littrell of North Texas was the least-untrustworthy coach, with only .4 percent of coaches naming him as the guy they trust the least.

-Dimel only had .8 percent of coaches say he was the most trustworthy. El Paso is closer to Los Angeles than it is to Houston, so maybe the coaches just think they can’t trust a Californian?

-Mike Bloomgren of Rice had 3.3 percent of coaches name him as the most trustworthy and 2.2 percent name him as the least trustworthy. That to me says that most Texas coaches have the same reaction to Bloomgren as most fans do, which is: “oh, yeah, I forgot he’s the coach at Rice now.”

-Welcome to Texas, Dana Holgorsen! Only 2.4 percent of coaches trust you the most, and 19.8 percent of coaches trust you the least. Good luck recruiting that!