It’s July 26, and it’s been precisely 200 days since the last college football game.
That’s 200 days since Alabama was reduced to crimson rubble by Clemson, 200 days since a nation could ignore all responsibilities for three hours (well, more like four, since the interminable Lil Wayne/Imagine Dragons concert at halftime of the title game dragged on for what seemed like forever).
And frankly, I’m sick and tired of not having college football on my TV screen on Saturdays. I’ve watched European Tour golf tournaments featuring players I’ve never heard of and powered through episodes of “Billions” on Showtime just trying to find something to fill the void left by college football. Hell, I’ve even read books this summer. Books! You remember books, right?
I’ve consumed every last bit of college football content I can find — previews on Ball State, features on Pac-12 negotiating rights, you name it. Earlier this week I found myself watching “Best Plays of the College Football Season 2015-16” on YouTube and I darn near had to hold back tears.
Hold on, let me plug the greatest hype video of all time.
Ah, that scratches the itch.
And I’m not the only one. College football media as a whole is clearly desperate for content. One sportswriter, whom I admire deeply, spent the whole day arguing with people on Twitter about the best fried chicken in America. This wouldn’t happen if we had Auburn-Alabama on Saturday to look forward to.
Media Days didn’t help matters, either. All the quotes and all the football in the atmosphere made it feel like there was a game that same week. I left AT&T Stadium ready to watch football right then and there, and I still have 29 days left until the season kicks off. It’s just not fair.
I want to wake up at 7 a.m. and start prepping all-day chili for the slow cooker as soon as College GameDay kicks on. I want to have an excuse to crack a Coors Light at 11 a.m. I want to be scrolling aimlessly through Twitter and see that, like, Georgia Tech is somehow trailing an FCS school with 7:00 to go in the fourth, and immediately flip the channel over there. I want to be angry at rankings that will ultimately mean nothing. I want to start a Garret Wallow hype train for the Bednarik Award, pronto.
Most of all, I just want something to do on Saturdays again. It’s been 200 days since I’ve felt truly alive, the way only college football can make you feel. I couldn’t care less about Florida-Miami or Arizona-Hawaii, but I will cancel all other plans to watch those games on August 24.
Twenty-nine more days to go.
Joke’s over. Start the dang season already.