Sometime around 4:30 p.m. on Saturday when I was sitting in the sweltering heat of Amon G. Carter Stadium Section G, just behind the Frog Horn — my last game as a fan this year — I realized TCU was going to lose to SMU.
So I’m sure you all need a palate cleanser, especially if you also sweated out five pounds in the stands on Saturday. Luckily, there were plenty of things worth seeing in week four of college football to take your mind off the Iron Skillet. Let’s get to it, shall we?
Did Y’all See: The UCLA near-Hail Mary?
UCLA mounted one of the more incredible comebacks —perhaps the most incredible — in college football history Saturday night/Sunday morning, beating Washington State 67-63 after trailing 35-17 at the half and 49-17 late in the third quarter. The Bruins essentially scored 50 points in 17 minutes, which is honestly somewhat frightening.
By now I’m sure you’ve heard of the comeback. But it wouldn’t have been as impressive had UCLA not barely missed on a Hail Mary as time expired in the first half. I watched this play at a hotel bar at about 11:30 p.m. Saturday, and had to convince myself it was real:
UCLA just misses the Hail Mary before halftime. pic.twitter.com/evsJfThauD— Greg Brandt (@devywarehouse) September 22, 2019
Imagine what would’ve happened had this been converted. Does UCLA still even make the comeback? It was a wild play, and I fear it’ll get lost in the 50-point barrage at the end of the game.
Did Y’all See: Notre Dame fake that injury?
Notre Dame lost to Georgia Saturday, and you didn’t need to be Nostradamus to predict that. (Also, that gives me an idea for a show called “Notre-Damus,” in which a genius detective predicts crimes in South Bend, Indiana, and tries to stop them before they happen. NBC, hit my line if you want to invest.)
But the Fighting Irish went out fighting, or at least falling down. With time running out in the fourth quarter, Notre Dame needed to stop the clock. So the Irish turned to some trickery, and by that I mean flat-out fraud:
Look, it’s crass to assume players are faking injuries. Football players put their bodies on the line every play, and a painful cramp or muscle tweak can flare up in seconds.
But I’ve seen worse acting than this in Nicolas Cage movies.
Did Y’all See: USC fans’ moral dilemma?
For one of the most storied programs in college football history, the USC Trojans sure don’t know what do with themselves right now. Clay Helton was assumed to be out the door two weeks into the season, but an upset win over a Utah team ranked No. 10 in the nation Friday night might have saved his job.
Now, Trojan fans are perplexed. The win was good — but Helton might be bad! Beating Utah might be a sign the team is turning around — but what if it isn’t? And can’t we hire Urban Meyer already?
Fight on, Trojans. Fight on, against yourselves.
Did Y’all See: Kansas football’s ‘crootin violations?
Kansas basketball has had rumors of NCAA violations for some time now. But the football program, which has languished in the basement — or perhaps a sub-room of the basement suitable only for moles and armadillos — for some time now, hasn’t had the same stigma.
Well, apparently, that’s going to change. According to Yahoo! Sports, there’s a Level II violation facing Kansas stemming from the David Beaty years, in which an extra coach was allowed to work during practice.
Normally, I’m against cheating, unless I’m playing my mom in Words With Friends and need to use an online service to see what the best word to play is. But when it comes to Kansas football...what’s the harm? Entering this season, the Jayhawks were a combined 18-90 since 2010. I had to triple-check that number, but it’s correct. So what if Beaty had another coach on the sideline? It’s not like it helped anything. If anything, Kansas should get any coach it wants to wear a headset. Hell, get a medium to channel the ghost of Vince Lombardi and see if he has any ideas, while they’re at it.
Did Y’all See: Virginia Tech-ECU cancelled their series?
This one might’ve slipped under the radar, but it’s wildly funny to me. Virginia Tech has been in decline ever since hiring Justin Fuente — the ex-TCU offensive coordinator — and ECU is a program that loves to embarrass P5 teams. I could write some jokes about this, or I could let Banner Society’s Ryan Nanni sum it up nicely:
who says football programs can't practice self-care? https://t.co/Fv7HLQsC6u— Ryan Nanni (@celebrityhottub) September 23, 2019
Why did they have to consult their respective legal counsels? Why are you asking? Are you a cop?