Around the Big 12, Week Two: DBU Who?

There weren’t really that many surprises in Week Two for the Big 12.

Every team you thought was going to win probably won; every team you thought was going to lose probably lost. It was a week of simple outcomes.

But man alive, the way some of the teams lost in the Big 12 was high comedy. From embarrassing blowouts to snooze-worthy G5 losses to high-profile defensive collapses, the Big 12 had it all in Week Two.

As always, let’s break it down into the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.

THE GOOD

Oklahoma 70, South Dakota 14: Note that this isn’t even the good South Dakota team. That’s South Dakota State.

Still, Oklahoma took care of business, racked up 733 yards on offense and didn’t run any of its players into the ground. Three different quarterbacks got playing time for the Sooners, and all of them threw at least one touchdown with no interceptions. Neither Kennedy Brooks nor Trey Sermon carried the ball more than 10 times. It was the perfect FCS blowout game for Oklahoma.

Next week the Sooners hit the road to play a UCLA team that isn’t so much treading water as it is sinking down to Davy Jones’ Locker.

Kansas State 52, Bowling Green 0: Good lord, Kansas State, what’s gotten into you? The Wildcats are 2-0 and have scored 49 and 52 points through the first two weeks.

Kansas State is passing the ball more efficiently than under Bill Snyder, first and foremost. Skyler Thompson was 10-13 for 151 yards and two touchdowns. The Wildcats are also finding success in the running game — albeit against lower-tier competition — compiling 333 yards on the ground this week. Not all of those runs are headfirst slams into the line, either — Kansas State had two runs of over 50 yards.

Chris Klieman has this team looking good early. The Wildcats play at Mississippi State next week, which will be Kansas State’s first real test of the season.

Oklahoma State 56, McNeese 14: I’m not in tune enough with local Stillwater gossip to know if the Cowboys still have a quarterback controversy or not. But both Spencer Sanders (who got the start) and Dru Brown averaged more than 20 yards per completion against McNeese. If you’re going to have a QB controversy, you might as well see who can chuck the ball deep the best.

Anyway, this game was a blowout. Oklahoma State went up 28-0 at the half and rested its starters for most of the second half. Sanders weirdly carried the ball more than any other Cowboy, with 12 carries, and finished as the team leader with 51 yards.

One notable takeaway — McNeese’s quarterback is none other than Cody Orgeron, son of LSU head coach Ed Orgeron. That’s pretty cool, huh? OSU promptly intercepted Orgeron the Younger’s first pass and ran it back for a TD. That’s significantly less cool.

The Cowboys play Tulsa on the road next week.

Baylor 63, UTSA 14: I didn’t watch this game, and neither did you. Charlie Brewer went 12-16 passing for 163 yards and three scores (all three of which went to Denzel Mims). I remain very impressed by Baylor backup quarterback Gerry Bohanon, who evidently is the second coming of Michael Vick. Bohanon threw seven times for 15 yards, and ran seven times for 93 yards and a score. He’s going to be a headache to defend once Brewer graduates.

Baylor gets a week off before traveling to play Rice in the final leg of what is apparently a guided tour of bad Texas college programs. Seriously — Baylor’s non-conference schedule this year was Stephen F. Austin, UTSA and Rice. I’ve eaten steaks tougher than that.

Texas Tech 38, UTEP 3: Without looking at the box score, you can already guess exactly how this one went. Tech missed a couple of opportunities but never once looked in danger of losing, UTEP didn’t score until late in the game on a sad field goal and we learned absolutely nothing from three hours of football.

And, yep, that’s what happened. Tech had a revolving door of receivers play this game — 12 different Red Raiders caught passes, and Alan Bowman threw the ball 45 times for 260 yards and three scores. A ho-hum game against a ho-hum opponent, but Tech is 2-0 in Matt Wells’ first year, and that’s all you can ask for.

The Red Raiders travel to play a very-bad-and-not-good Arizona team next week.

THE BAD

LSU 45, Texas 38: Look, it’s hard to make fun of Texas for this one. The Longhorns played a really good game against a really good team, and were an almost-converted onside kick away from having a chance to win at the end. Truly, Texas should not hang its head over this one.

But as far as “DBU” goes, well, I’m not sure the Longhorns can claim that one after giving up 471 yards and four TDs to Joe Burrow. LSU receivers were finding more wide open space than the entire King Ranch against the Texas defense.

You know what, the people are calling for it, and you’re hearing it more and more. Do we want the Laughing Reaper gif, folks? I think we want to do the Laughing Reaper gif, and we want it very strongly.

Tremendous.

Texas will have a chance to exercise its frustrations next week at home against Rice.

THE UGLY

Missouri 38, West Virginia 7: This was....not good. West Virginia ran the ball 32 times for 30 yards, an average of .8 yards per carry.

I’m 6 feet, 4 inches tall. If I ran to the line of scrimmage and fell straight over every time, I would more than double the average run for the Mountaineers. And it wasn’t like the passing game was having success, either — Austin Kendall was 15-25 for 137 yards, a touchdown and two picks.

West Virginia barely snuck by James Madison last week and wilted against the first FBS opponent it saw. A home game against NC State next week probably won’t solve any problems for the Mountaineers, either.

Coastal Carolina 12, Kansas 7: This game started with so much promise for the Jayhawks. Khalil Herbert had a 41-yard touchdown run on the first possession of the game, and Kansas was rolling.

Here are the results of the rest of Kansas’ drives: punt, INT, punt, missed field goal, INT, punt, turnover on downs, turnover on downs. Absolutely brutal.

Kansas goes to Boston College for a Friday night game next week. I can only imagine what horrors await the Jayhawks there.