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MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at Miami Marlins

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

I suppose this is where the phrase ‘some rules are meant to be broken’ stems from.

Sam Navarro-USA TODAY Sports

We’ve seen many changes to society and the economy as the CoronaVirus has become an increasingly prominent threat, but never have I ever seen rules or sports this absurd.

MLB: No spitting, No showers

The MLB is really trying to get a grip on the national crisis and by the grace of god they seem to have it all figured out! A 67-page draft of new proposed rules are in the process of being reviewed. Within that lengthy book is a rule that will prohibit spitting of any kind. Yes, that’s correct, there will be no more spitting in baseball. The MLB has also decided to take throwback uniforms to the next level and will require players to show up ‘baseball ready’, it’s the little league all over again! Players who won’t be playing that game are advised to take a seat and watch from the stands. After a baseball has been thrown around between a couple of players, it will be thrown away. Aside from that, there will be no fans which means no videos should be shown on the video board. But don’t worry, the MLB is there to provide as much comfort as they possibly can, so they will be allowing music to play in the stadium! Who’s ready for some summer ball?

Tennis: Keep your Tennis Balls to yourself

As for tennis, UTSA has released their official guidelines for matches. Currently, doubles matches are being highly advised against. If you must play doubles tennis, remain 6 feet apart at all times and avoid all contact. Under no circumstances should you even think about touching a tennis ball. They should only be picked up with your foot, or a cool racquet flip. Once again with the tennis balls, players should bring two cans and number them. Your partner should not touch your numbered tennis balls! Once you finish playing this fun and riveting match of tennis, please exit the court as quickly as possible and do not speak to one another. Anyone trying to pick up a game this week?

Professional Cornhole

Aside from new guidelines, we’ve been introduced to some newly televised sports. My personal favorite, Cornhole. Before you dog on my newfound passion, players make between $5,000 and $25,000 a season as well as a chance for sponsorships. ESPN has a TV contract with the sport and in light of sports going away, it’s comforting to know Cornhole will always be there to watch.

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